420 ftw
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
