Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
