I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm having to shit out rocks
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