she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
