this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize