Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
There r osticjed everywhere
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
