And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
