yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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