On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
