They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
