P.S. I can't hear my feet
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
