I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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