you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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