i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
