i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
