She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
