Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize