OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Is it because I queefed?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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