just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
