he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
did you just send me my own nude
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
i believe in u and ur pee
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize