Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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