I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
