The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
