im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
