He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize