Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
