Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize