Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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