Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
