so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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