pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
this will be a night to untag.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
