They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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