Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
