But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
