I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Pappa wants mamma naked
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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