Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
this boner is exhausting
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
