The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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