Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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