Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
