oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
