Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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