My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
