go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
