i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
