Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
