your room smells of hookers.
And success
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
