its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
