there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize