There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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