my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
