But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
