I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
