i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
