Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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