I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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