When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
