Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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