So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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