She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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