Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
My cat gives me a boner
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize