How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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