S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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