You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
