I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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