I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
