i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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